From Porcelain to Parakeets (and One Uninvited Guest)

If you were to walk into my mom’s house, it wouldn’t take you long to figure out her absolute biggest passion. For as long as I can remember, Mom has had a deep, unwavering obsession with birds.

And when I say obsession, I mean it.

The Porcelain Flock

For decades, Mom has been collecting porcelain birds. We’re not talking about a strict, curated collection of museum-quality pieces here. We tried to buy her the incredibly realistic ones, but Mom didn’t discriminate. If it had wings, she loved it. Her collection ranges from high-end Lenox collectibles to a lumpy, charming clay bird handmade by a child. Today, she has a couple of curio cabinets absolutely bursting at the seams with birds of every shape, size, color, and species imaginable.

But about a decade or so ago, her love for birds hopped out of the glass cabinets and into real life.

The Morning Routine

Mom eventually graduated to live birds, becoming the proud owner of two parakeets and a cockatiel. They lived in two separate cages, and Mom’s morning routine with them was practically a sacred ritual. Every single morning, weather permitting, she would:

• Lift the cages up off the floor.
• Remove the night covers.
• Check and refill the food bowls.
• Refresh the water.
• Carry them outside to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine.

This went on beautifully for years. Until one fateful evening.

The Twist in the Cage

One night, my parents got home late. Routine broken, Mom hurriedly brought the cages inside, set them on the kitchen floor, covered them up for the night, and went to bed.

The next morning, she got up and went through her usual motions. She tended to the single cockatiel first, getting him all squared away. Then, she lifted the parakeet cage onto the table. She reached inside, changed the food, changed the water, and paused.

The cage was entirely quiet. There were no parakeets.

Instead, resting heavily under the newspaper at the bottom of the cage, was a massive chicken snake.

As it turned out, the snake had slithered into the cage outside and eaten both parakeets. But thanks to the laws of physics—and two distinct lumps in its belly—it became too fat to squeeze back through the bars. It was trapped.

Needless to say, Mom’s anxiety spiked through the roof, requiring a quick nitro-glycerin tablet to calm her heart. Enter Dad, the ultimate hero of the day, who calmly carried the cage outside and “dispatched” the uninvited predator.

A New Chapter: The Kitchen Window Chronicles

The poor cockatiel outlived his roommates and became a bit of a lonely bachelor. He spent some time being passed around the family, but with us, he found his ultimate forever home, surrounded by love until he finally passed away.

Today, we’ve retired the indoor cages. Instead, Mom’s bird watching has moved to the great outdoors. Right outside the kitchen window sits a buffet of sunflower seeds that attracts a spectacular live show. On any given day, we get to watch Rose-breasted Grosbeaks, Nuthatches, Titmice, and Woodpeckers. It is peaceful, beautiful, and well worth the cost of the seed.

Of course, no bird feeder story is complete without mentioning the “fuzzy britches”—otherwise known as the local squirrels who think the feeder is their personal franchise.

Thankfully, we’ve learned a few tricks over the years. A sturdy baffle on the cast-iron pole keeps most of them at bay. And for the extra ambitious squirrels who think they can defy gravity? Well, a little bit of grease on the pole solves that problem real quick.

Mom still has her cabinets full of porcelain wings, but now, her favorite view is the one right outside her kitchen window—minus the snakes, of course!